of drivings and stickshifts.

a manual,
is like learning to control your life.

first you stutters to understand each of its movement,
then as the miles rack up,
you begin to quicken its paces,
and understands your limit and capabilities.

and when the road suddenly bends into a curve,
you'll know when to take it head on,
or slow down a gear or two to take the challenge better,
and leave unscathed.


ps: just a tidbit of sorts that happen when i try to persuade a certain individual to just abandon his matic car and just drive a manual already..

of cold feelings and hardhips.

in a city of a thousand blurs,

and shapes masquerading themselves to be more than a lie,

i find myself lurking in every corner,

in pursuit of the true meaning to this feeble existence.

of past recollections and indications.

our youth are seeping away,
yet we still linger here,
our shadows melted to the pavements,
and our soul ever reluctant to move.

of starry nights and cryptic details.

we live in a life crafted by our dreams,
and our mind are pieced together by our desires,
just like our sympathies that are snapshots of our fears.

yet we live on,
hoping to wake up from an eternity of dreams.

of ugly truths and consequences.

you will be special,
you're one of a kind,

you're precious.

and then he pulls the switch,
and the lights start to flicker,

and inevitably died.

of hidden meanings and lucrative endings.

what hid behind those words scattered in our lives?
what whispers beneath all the voices around us?

what action we must make to have a proper reaction?
or what reaction we must make to justify the action?

will we walk, or do we wait?

wait for the very moment,
when the truth dies to let out the lies it hid behind.

of spoonfuls of taste.

sometimes, only sometimes,

it's the small things that gave us taste

to the cake we called life, dear..

of lullabies and silver linings.

i spent a day without you today,
perhaps the first of so many yet to come,
an entire day wasted only with a series of manufactured laughs and half hearted sighs,
each following minute only deepens my pondering of my significance to you.

tell me,
do you even know that i'm here?
no, don't answer that..

but dear,
let the masses know, 
that for each and every day i missed without you,
i whispered to the lonely halls in my mind,
unbroken messages and promises to guide me through the days.

if the odds finally favor me,
then maybe we can trully see what our future holds,
for the two of us.

but for now,
when my body cannot be with you,
at the very least,
my spirit will always be.

of respites and resolutions.

sorry for the long hiatus, it seems that i'm neglecting very much in this last two months. but that are going to change, my dearest readers, as i vowed to make things different from now on.

i make a promise to be less ghostly, and more 'visible' in my life.. soul meets body indeed.

and, before we know it, life does goes on, either we like it or not.

ps: sorry for the less-than-poetic post this time, finding something that rhymes with misery is surprisingly hard.

of blue skies and grey winters.

"for me, you've been a roller coaster of happiness,
pain, and despair, all at once.."

a lone thought.

here i am,
isolated in the midst of a mass orchestrated pantomime,
and the black box in front of me emits hums of persuasion.

this is when i finally understands,

how this day last a lot longer,
without that blink urging my utmost attention.

of birthdays and all.

happy birthday,
dear ghost.

may our shadows,
meld together after all.

of empty hallways and cereal boxes.

life is like those broken toilets in derelict malls,
when you hit the switch, nothing happens.

childrens of the night.

as we return to the night,
we return to what we are,
to where we were born.

and thus we will return,
to where shadow reigns,
and shapes begin to lie about their existence.

of admittances and dead-ends.

those lines was written,
on a white lit background,
of a contrasting black LCD screen.

it was muted.

a sincere imitation of life.

but as fake as it is,
the pain it creates is so very real.

snapshots.

*click*

"why so glum?"

"i am wondering what to say.."

"say to whom?.."

"to peoples i know and dreams left unsaid.."

"what left unsaid?.."

"some of our certain past, some that we will met in our future.."

".....oh.."

"....forget it, just forget it.."

*click*

ps.

she said,

"you deserve better than this!"

then, as fast as the night turns to day,
she vanished.

of months of our years.

 another month waned and died, and i'm still living in deep grudges.


yes, i live my day as empty as i ever be.

if only things were different between me and you, will there be a void looming there in a place where my heart once called home?

will i finally be able to solve the riddles, that been so long assaulting me with so many puzzles to solve?

and yes,

will i still be alone?

update.

whee...

just a small update here, been working on some wicked project

hope it works.

ta-thaa~

the chapter.

i once met this girl,
with her big brown eyes,
staring with delight,
the clear blue sky.

and with this girl,
come this book,
full of surprising twists,
on every page she turns.

but yet,
although it is her book,
she never finished any of the stories,
leaving many lay cold and unspoken.

yet now,

she gazed motionless,
into the untouched pages of  each chapters,
and ventured to the end,
just to start anew.

ps: written this as a tribute to a certain someone that finally confronted her past, after all these years waiting..

respite.

okay, i tried an update, but i decided to back it up, after one hellish morning at my office.

ah, just hanging on just got much harder..

point blank

ka-paw!!

and there goes my bumper! well, not literally, but i can see one, two, three, FOUR scratches in my car lover left bumper. a shade of white and black on a silvery landscape.

haha, and yeah, i think i'm going to get a massive preaching when i get back home today. oh well, just my luck.

3:12 PM

friday.

this new year have reached it's first week-end of so much to come, and yeah, i've got nothing to post here.. there's nothing to see from my dull corner here, as i watched my colleagues rack their brain, finding clues to justify their 'creative' existence..

ah, the life as a 'suppose-to-be' creative mind, with it's own ups and down, always enchanted and confuse me somehow, what's with us struggling to meets the demands of our 'honored' clients, us being the scape goat of many (admit it, we are in the bottom of the food chain,with us being a 'fresh grad' and all), and while trying to save our idealistic views and style in the midst of it.

and yes, i never fail to wonder why the industry being so lame these days... really, what's sets them apart is only the logo, their name, and their list of clients. inside, it's the same old story.

haha, wow, my first post is all about rantings.. oh well, let's get on with it.

and secrets.

yes

just trying to see some 'adjustment'' to the blog.

haha, might as well use up the space and start writing.. hehe, well, i wont post too much, and i'm not the type to post my artwork or what due to my extreme laziness.. but we'll see..

ciao~

of lies

welcome to another blog.

i'm just going to post all of my annoying response to the world starting today.

hopefully this blog wont be neglected like my previous two, just dont get your hopes high!